


Not Actually A Dream

by heroineaddict



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Tony has insecurities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-13 06:18:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18935140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroineaddict/pseuds/heroineaddict
Summary: Steve asks Tony to help him find Bucky after TWS. Tony agrees, and somehow ends up with a boyfriend.





	Not Actually A Dream

**Author's Note:**

> For sebastiansboobear on Tumblr. Prompt was: Bucky/Tony - let's say IW and EG never happened and CW also didn't. Steve tells Tony about Bucky etc and they find him.   Bucky and Tony fall slowly in love while being nerds about science and Bucky is a mother hen because Tony doesn't eat and sleep enough
> 
> Set just after TWS. Plenty of Tony insecurities. Constructive feedback on characterization welcome, this is a new fandom for me.
> 
> I am also shit with titles, so please just ignore it.

When Tony Stark first learned about Bucky Barnes, he had no idea what he was in for. 

S.H.I.E.L.D had fallen apart; after HYDRA’s secrets had been exposed by Natasha, Steve had contacted Tony, asking for help. 

Steve wanted to find the Winter Soldier. At first, Tony had just laughed, because that wasn’t a real person; just a myth. Steve had insisted, and explained who the soldier was, which in itself was unbelievable. 

What was the likelihood that both Steve and his best friend were...well, super soldiers? 

Still, Steve was his friend, so Tony had agreed to help. 

It hadn’t been easy; Barnes was adept at hiding, but Tony had considerable resources at his disposal, so it was only a matter of time. 

He hadn’t been too smug when he’d found Barnes hiding in Romania. 

——

Steve wants to go alone to get Barnes back, which is, of course, out of the question. Tony’s glad he insists when they get there; Barnes is wound tight, a bomb ready to go off and aside from being there to protect Steve, Tony’s glad to be there for moral support. 

They convince Barnes to come home with them, which takes a lot of doing, but Steve is persistent and earnest and it seems like Barnes still has a soft spot for him. Clearly whatever brainwashing happened, it's mostly worn off. 

Tony sets up rooms in the tower for Barnes, who’s quiet and withdrawn, but Tony thinks that’s expected; he can’t imagine he wouldn’t be in a situation like this. When Barnes is settled, Tony hands him a tablet, instructs Barnes to let him know if he needs anything, and then gives him the space he clearly needs. 

Steve’s waiting outside for him, poorly disguised anxiety all over his face. 

“He’s fine,” Tony says, holding up a hand before Steve can speak. “He needs space right now.”

“I’m his best friend,” Steve argues, but Tony can see that it’s halfhearted; he knows Tony's right. 

“You are,” Tony agrees, gently directing Steve away from the door and down the hall to the elevators. “But trust me, he needs time right now. We’ve thrown a lot at him, Steve. He’ll be fine.”

Steve just gives Tony a look, which makes him laugh. “Relax, Cap, you know I'm right.”

“I don’t have to like it,” Steve mutters, drawing a chuckle from Tony again. 

“Nope. But it doesn’t change it,” Tony smirks. He vows to check on Barnes later, both for Barnes’s sake, and Steve’s. 

——

Tony gives it three hours before deciding to check on Barnes; he knocks on the door, waiting a half beat for an answer before cracking it open. "Knock knock. Climb out the window yet?"

A soft chuckle is his answer, which is permission enough to push the door open. Tony sees Barnes sitting on the couch, tablet in hand. He approaches slowly enough that it's clear he's trying to respect Barnes's space, without making it look like he's afraid (because he's not). "Read anything good?"

"Nah," Barnes says, remarkably calm considering how on edge he was up until this point. "What's up, Stark?"

"Figured you'd rather have a rational person here to make sure you were coping," Tony answers, perching on the arm of the couch. "Steve's beside himself, so if you ever feel like, oh, I don't know, telling him you're not going to jump off the roof, I think he'd appreciate it."

At that, Barnes laughs. "That bad, huh?"

Tony nods. "Worse than my mother," he agrees with a wicked smile. "C'mon, why don't you come down to the common area and show him you haven't gone catatonic?"

"Sure," Barnes agrees, offering Tony a smile. He rises from the couch, following Tony out the door and to the elevators in companionable silence. 

When they reach the common area, Steve offers a weak smile. "Hey, Buck."

"I'm fine," Barnes says in response, even though Tony knows that's not quite true, it's true enough. Barnes had offered a lot of good reasons not to come home with them, most centering around feeling like he had a potential to be dangerous. Tony had made the very reasonable argument that there was no safer place than the tower, considering that it's routinely occupied by people that are pretty hard to hurt. 

Steve seems to calm down once he and Barnes get talking, which Tony uses as a good place to exit; he knows if he was Steve, he'd want some time to catch up without someone hovering. And besides, there's always something to do in the lab. 

——

Tony loses track of time in the lab; he's startled out of his reverie by a knock and someone clearing their throat. It's Barnes, standing in the doorway. 

"Hey," he says, almost hesitant. Tony offers a smile. 

"Hey. Tired of Steve already?"

"It's been six hours," Barnes chuckles, sitting down next to Tony at the bench. "What're you up to?"

"Really?" Tony asks in surprise; he knows he's bad at keeping track of time down here, but sometimes it's surprising how much time he loses track of. He shakes his head ruefully when Barnes looks at him expectantly.

"Just some ideas to upgrade everyone's armor, been working on nanotechnology too, but it's a work in progress."

Barnes hums in interest, which Tony's used to. "Boring you already?" he asks with a smirk.

"Nah, just don't know much about nanotechnology. Armor though, that I know," 

"Then by all means." Tony sits back and gestures at the screens. Barnes takes a moment to scrutinize them, and Tony's surprised when he starts offering suggestions on where to improve, areas to focus on based on combat style, and there's honestly something intensely attractive about it. 

It's late by the time they finish working; Tony's not entirely surprised to find that they work well together, and by the time they call it quits, even Barnes is yawning. 

"So does this mean you're my official crash test dummy?" Tony quips as they head upstairs, earning a laugh from Barnes. 

"Does this mean you're looking for an excuse to shoot me?" Barnes fires back, and now it's Tony's turn to laugh. It's rare that he finds someone he meshes with so easily, and despite all the homicidal mania in his past, Barnes is an easy person for Tony to be around. 

It's nice. 

——

As the weeks pass, Tony finds Bucky in the lab with him more and more; he's a brilliant strategist, looking at Tony's designs in ways Tony would never think of, and is, if Tony's honest, a good crash test dummy. 

Sometimes Tony works alone; those times are lonelier now than he'd have expected, but he notices that Bucky always comes to check on him after a few hours. He never quite nags him about trivial things like eating or sleeping, just shows up with food, although one time he did just scoop Tony up and carry him to the elevator. 

Really though, Tony hadn't minded. Who wouldn't enjoy getting carted around by someone as attractive as Bucky Barnes?

Because Tony's very attracted to him. 

It's not a problem. Not really. 

The next time Bucky shows up with food in the lab, he sits down next to Tony at his workbench, close enough that their shoulders are touching. Which really, is unfair. 

"Brought you cheeseburgers," Bucky says with a smile, pulling the stylus Tony's holding out of his hands and setting it on the bench. "Eat."

"Yes, mom," Tony snarks as he takes an overlarge bite of the burger. Bucky just watches him, like he's worried Tony's going to waste away if he doesn't finish the burger in two bites. 

A hand settles on Tony's thigh, which he decides, for now, to ignore. 

"When's the last time you slept?" Bucky asks, and Tony really can't even remember. He shrugs. He's on autopilot, in that state where he's hyper focused and isn't really aware of what's happening around him. Trivial things like sleep and when he last slept was don't matter. 

"No idea," he says honestly. "What day is today?"

"Thursday."

"Maybe Tuesday?"

"You're joking."

Tony shrugs again. "Don't think so. It all blurs after twenty four hours."

Bucky shakes his head. "Okay, you're done for at least that long then. You need to sleep."

"What I need, is to finish this," Tony protests. 

Another head shake. "Nope, no arguments. Finish that and then you're coming upstairs with me.”

“You really must not love me,” Tony complains, very aware of his choice of words, less able to control the use of them. 

Bucky just laughs. “Come upstairs with me and I’ll tell you just now much,” and Tony just blinks owlishly at him. “You heard me.”

“Well.” Tony gulps down the last of the cheeseburger. Clearly he’s fallen asleep and is in some kind of extremely vivid dream. “Lead the way then.”

Bucky takes his hand (absolutely dreaming) and leads him to the elevator, up to his penthouse, and into his den. He sits them down on the couch, gathering Tony up against his side, and really, this is a good dream. 

“Just rest. We’ll talk later.” 

Tony decides not to argue, because arguing with a dream is stupid, instead settling down against Bucky’s side and allowing his eyes to close. 

When he wakes, he’s sleeping on Bucky’s chest. And he realizes that what just happened wasn’t a dream. 

He doesn’t know how to react. Does he jump up and apologize, blame the lack of sleep, pretend he’s still sleeping, or just try to vanish into thin air?

“Feel better?” Bucky asks, and goddamn if Tony can’t hear the smile in his voice. 

“This is still a dream, right?” He doesn’t look up; this was not how he wanted this conversation to go. Love makes life difficult, and he’s a difficult person to love anyway, so it’s just compounded. 

“Nope.” 

A hand cards through Tony’s hair; it sends shivers down his spine. 

“Feel better?” Bucky asks again, and Tony finds that he does; better than he’s felt in a long time. 

“I- yep, sure do.”

“Good.” The hand hasn’t stopped moving, and it’s going to put him right back to sleep. 

“And this is...” Tony asks, still not sure how the hell he’s supposed to act. 

“You needed rest,” Bucky says simply. “I made sure you got it.”

Tony just nods. “Thanks.”

“Welcome,” Bucky replies easily. “I can think of worse things to do with my time.”

“Oh?” Eloquent as always.

Bucky hums an agreement. “You did say I must not love you very much. Sometimes actions are better than words.”

“Oh.” Tony’s quiet for a long moment. Sure, he wants this, but he also knows how difficult he is and knows the likelihood of this ending in a way that might make Steve want to put his head through a wall. “I can think of a couple good reasons you shouldn’t.”

“Well that’s too bad,” Bucky says, voice soft, gentle. “‘Cause I do.”

At that, Tony sits up. “Why?” he asks, eyes narrowed. Bucky just watches him, calm as anything. 

“Why not?” Comes the mild challenge. “I need a reason?”

“You need at least _ten_ reasons,” Tony agrees, because this doesn’t happen; people don’t just accept him for who he is, they either get tired of him or end up wanting him just for what he can give them. 

Bucky shakes his head, still smiling that smile that’s audible in his voice. “Can’t ever just accept anything, can you?”

“Of course not,” Tony shoots back. “This isn’t how it _works_ with me, you’ll end up sick of me just like everyone else, so don’t even bother.”

Bucky sighs. Tony sits back, arms folded in challenge. 

“Okay, you want to know why?” Bucky asks. 

“I asked, didn’t I?”

“Shut your mouth,” Bucky says, good natured as always (how is a master HYDRA assassin so fucking calm all the time now?), which only serves to irritate Tony. 

“No, because this is ridiculous,” Tony shoots back, and when has he ever felt this insecure in his life? He points at Bucky. “You _can’t_ love me, okay, because if you do and this goes badly, and it will, Steve will probably kill me and at that point I’ll have to let him.”

Bucky huffs out a sigh. “Tony, stop. Steve isn’t going to kill you, and if he tries, I’ll kill him. I haven’t ended up sick of you yet, and there’s no reason for this to go badly.”

“It’s me,” Tony replies with a humorless laugh. “I don’t _do_ relationships, and when I do, I ruin them. Ask Pepper.”

“I don’t really care what you’ve done with other people,” Bucky replies, which is, of course, ridiculous. 

Tony snorts. “Sure, Bucky, whatever you say.”

“I mean it.”

“If you say so.”

“Tony.” Bucky reaches for him, and damn Tony for not being able to resist. Bucky pulls him closer and settles an arm around him. “You’re the first person in years that’s let me be myself, Tony. You’re wicked smart, kind, selfless, and easy on the eyes on top of it. What’s not to love about you?”

“The fact that I’m selfish, work too much, barely spend time around other people, never sleep, I’m still a borderline alcoholic, that I’m-“ the words are silenced by lips on his own. 

“Shush,” Bucky says with a grin as he pulls away. Tony finds he’s lost the ability to speak. He gapes at Bucky, barely able to comprehend what just happened. Bucky just keeps grinning. 

“I’m not saying this would be easy, or perfect. I’m saying it’s worth trying, because it’s you.”

Tony just shakes his head. “You’re our of your mind,” he says, but there’s a kernel of hope burgeoning in his chest, and he realizes he’s smiling. 

“Well, yeah,” Bucky agrees with a chuckle. “That’s kinda what happens when they brainwash you.”

“Oh my god. Did you just joke about that?”

Bucky laughs. “You realize what a hypocrite it makes you to call me on that.”

“I live to be contrary,” Tony agrees smugly. Bucky just shakes his head and pulls him in for another kiss. 

“Good thing I don’t mind that.”

Tony lets the kiss go on for a long moment before pulling back. "You're sure about this," he says, more a statement than a question, but it's still a question. 

Bucky nods, an exasperated looking smile on his face. 

"No, see, look, you're already sick of it," Tony says, eyes narrowed again.

Bucky just shakes his head. "No," he replies, voice calm and quiet. "Promise, Tony. Give me a chance to prove it to you, okay?"

A long silence follows, because Tony  _wants_ to, but goddamn if he isn't worried that he's going to ruin this. Bucky's just watching him, patient, like they've got all the time in the world. 

Tony's never hesitated about anything like this before. He wonders if that means that this time is different, because he never really cared that much about relationships prior to this. Sure, he loved Pepper, but she got so sick of his constant working and all the Iron Man...everything, that she couldn't handle it. But Bucky's different, Tony realizes. Bucky understands some of the work Tony does, would go with him on missions (and that's a whole different issue), and it finally really clicks that Bucky can meet him on all the levels that everyone else couldn't. Bucky might get sick of him (probably will), but logically, they're a better match than anyone Tony's been with before. 

So fine. Tony's never really been one to deny himself something he wants anyway. 

It's like Bucky can see his thoughts, because when he comes to the conclusion that this is worth trying even though he's still roughly 87% certain he's going to fuck it up somehow, Bucky just pulls him into another kiss. Tony melts into it this time, because if he's going to do this, he might as well do it all the way. 

"See? It's gonna be fine," Bucky murmurs. 

"Well, if it doesn't, just send some really nice flowers to my funeral," Tony jokes, but it's halfhearted. Bucky laughs, and this time when time starts to blur together, Tony doesn't mind.

 

 


End file.
